Run With Me
by Upsgirl88
Summary: To move forward she must go back. He won't let her go alone.
1. Chapter 1

"That night by the car, you wanted to know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up," Carol said, looking up at the ceiling in the dimly lit room. "I know now."

"You woulda left, I know," Daryl finished for her from where he was lying on the floor, blocking her door, just like he had every night since Beth died and they decided to make the hospital their new home. He sat up and looked at her. "Why do you think I sleep here every night?" He had been suffocating her since they settled in, even trailing her to the bathroom, waiting outside the door. She let him away with it because she knew he was grieving and feeling tremendous guilt, though he'd never admitted it until then. "I couldn't find Sophia and she's dead. I lost Beth and she's dead. I've already lost you too many times, it ain't happening again."

There is was. He was taking personal responsibility for both Sophia and Beth dying. Beth was like Sophia all over again. Young, precious life, that they weren't able to protect. Carol knew all about that too. She had failed Sophia and she couldn't save Lizzie or Mika either. Just one more similarity between her and Daryl that even unspoken made their bond stronger.

"Neither were your fault. You have to know that," she said. Perhaps those words were meant for her as well, though she didn't believe them any more than he would. He grunted something in response that told her he was reacting exactly how she expected he would. They were adults. They lost children. It was open and closed in both of their minds, adults protect kids - end of story. He needed to heal, find peace, just as much as she did - maybe more because he just wasn't as well equipped to carry such a heavy burden like she was.

Carol stood up and started to pace. "I can't stay here," she said sadly. "I gotta go. I'm suffocating and - I - " Her voice cracked. "There are places I need to go."

Daryl wasn't going to let her off without explanation. "Where? What places?"

How could she explain it to anyone? It sounded so ridiculous. But if there was one person on this earth that would understand it was him. "I gotta go back. Right back to the start." She sat down on the floor beside him. "We never stayed in one place long and every time we leave it's tragic." She looked at him, hoping he would understand. "I wanna go back to my home. I need to grieve the loss of normal life, of civilization." He nodded. But there was more. "Then the quarry. The farm. The prison. The grove -" she felt a lump in her throat. Daryl looked at her curiously. She would tell him one day if she ever made it back to him. But not then. "I can't move forward with closure. I don't want to keep adding places to the list without closing the doors that are still open behind me."

"So what? You're just gonna run?" Daryl said quietly. "Wait until I go take a shit or something and make a break for it?"

"I was hoping you would understand and I wouldn't have to sneak away," she replied honestly.

Daryl shook his head. "I told you, I ain't letting you outta my sight again." Carol sighed, they seemed to be at a stalemate. "There's only one solution I can think of," he continued.

She knew him. So well. She could read his face and she knew exactly what he was going to say. "You run with me."

"I run with you," he confirmed with a nod. "On one condition -" he gave her a look, challenging her to disagree. "When it's over and you've done what you needed to do - we come back here. We end here and we start over here."

"Daryl," she sighed deeply. "It's dangerous out there, you know as well as I do we might not even make it out of the city, let alone all the places I want to go and back here again." She reached for his hand. "Stay here, be safe and move on. Let me go."

He squeezed her hand. "You said a long time ago that you can't lose me too." Carol flashed back to the barn at Hershel's farm when she'd uttered those words. "That's how I feel now. I know you understand. I know you don't want to leave me."

Daryl was right. It would break her heart to leave him, but it was more important to her that he was safe and alive. She sighed again. He only wanted the same for her, she knew that. He wanted to protect her, and he wanted her in his life. "Okay," she replied both with reluctance and excitement. She hated endangering his life, but she had planned to be out there on her own for a long time, resigned to it even, so it was incredibly comforting to know she would have someone with her. Not just anyone, but her best friend - the only person she had unwavering faith and trust in. "We leave tonight."

"Tonight?" he looked panicked. "Just like that? No goodbyes?"

Carol shook her head. "We can leave a note. But I can't take the chance someone will change my mind or try to stop me."

"It's okay because we're gonna make it back. We ain't gonna die out there. We ain't," he said confidently.

She didn't have the same faith but she loved him for believing it. With heavy hearts they packed up their belongings and some food and water - enough to last several days. The last thing she did before they slipped out into the night was tape a note to Rick's bedroom door.

 _Dear Rick,_

 _The last time I left it wasn't my choice. This time it is. I need to make peace with my past or I have no future._

 _Daryl won't let me go without him and I'm not strong enough to say no. He loves you like a brother and I'm deeply sorry for taking him from you._

 _If we're not back in a few months assume the worst, grieve and move on. But be sure Judith always knows her Auntie Carol and Uncle Daryl loved her with all our hearts._

 _Til we meet again,_

 _Carol_


	2. Chapter 2

"We're almost there," Carol said softly, her voice wistful and tentative. They were in her old neighborhood, but it was barely recognizable. Part of it was because of the damage, growth and desolation that had occurred over time, but another part of it was because she'd buried that time of her life so deep, locking it away for what she thought was forever.

Half an hour north of the city - in good traffic. 25 miles. That was where home was before everything changed. But in this world 25 miles could take so much longer. Carol pushed to get out of the city in the cover of darkness. It took them 5 blocks of searching before they found a vehicle, but even that was miraculous given that the cops at the hospital would have already scavenged a huge radius.

There were a couple sections of interstate that got dicey, but they somehow managed to make it to the exit they needed. Once they were off the highway Carol agreed to sleep. Now, about 12 hours later, they were finally in her neighborhood. It seemed ridiculous. After 5 hours of sleep they had less than 10 miles to cover, yet it took 7 hours, 3 different vehicles and a lot of walking. Yet in the grand scheme of things, they had been pretty damn lucky to escape the city, avoid any close calls, and make it to the first destination in less than a full day.

"You doing okay?" Daryl asked as he made the turn onto her street. While other places they were going to visit would have a profound affect on them both - this one was all her burden to bear and Daryl was clearly worried about how she would take it emotionally.

"Nope," she admitted. I was all she really needed to say, he knew even before he asked. The point of the trip was her need to close this part of her life, her past, not just bury it or ignore it. She inhaled sharply when she saw her old home. "Next drive on the right." When he turned in and parked the car she sat there for a moment, frozen, unable to get out. She could see Sophia's bike, still on the front lawn tangled in long grass and weeds. It was right where she always left it. Right where she'd left it on the day they packed up the Cherokee and headed out into the new world. "She wanted to bring it, so bad -" Carol whispered. "The bike," she added, pointing to it. Everything had a story. "It was the one thing she didn't want to leave behind - but the truck was full and we couldn't -" Her voice cracked.

Daryl was quiet and let her talk. He could have offered words of support and encouragement, but they both knew it would all come out patronizing. "Come on, let's go inside."

Carol was surprised to see that the windows and doors remained boarded up, just the way Ed had left them. She had rolled her eyes behind his back when he started destroying their home with thick pieces plywood and a nail gun. The last thing he'd done was board up the door with the exact piece of wood that was still there. "Danger, do not enter. Danger," Daryl read outloud. He glanced at Carol.

"Ed," she confirmed, reaching out to tug on the board.

Daryl helped her. "I hate to compliment him," he said with a grunt as he tugged. "But this was pretty smart." Carol agreed reluctantly with a nod, even though she couldn't believe it actually worked. Looters had apparently left the house alone, not risking disobeying the sign. With one last tug they ripped away the board. Daryl threw it aside.

"Go ahead," Carol said. motioning for him to kick the door open. She took a deep breath and waited. Three hard kicks and the sound of wood splintering and the door to her past flew open. All the times she had imagined this moment the house had been looted, destroyed, and barely resembled the home she'd lived in for so long. But as she stepped inside with shaky legs it was like she was stepping back in time to that very day she had left.

Sophia had been distraught and scared but Carol was excited. It was an adventure beyond anything a bored, obedient housewife could imagine. It was a future, hope - or certain death and though she would draw her last breath protecting Sophia, there were days that death seemed a much better option than the life she was trapped in.

Carol looked around. It was the same - exactly the same. Untouched. There was a part of her that felt certain if she ran to Sophia's room she would find her there on the bed, doing crafts or coloring. Ed would be in the living room watching sports and drinking beer. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, she could hear his voice. "Hey, Carol, bring me another damn beer, woman."

Suddenly she felt like she couldn't catch her breath and she started gasping for air. Carol looked at Daryl and then bolted back outside, doubled over, trying to breathe. He was right there. Right beside her. Rubbing her back, softly soothing her with words she couldn't quite make out over the rushing and buzzing of blood in her ears. She realized she was going to pass out when she stood up and looked at him again. His face was there, and then it wasn't.

"Carol - Carol, hey, wake up." She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was his face, etched with worry.

"Sorry," she apologized, sitting up. "I'm fine now."

"Maybe you should sit a minute," Daryl tried to stop her from standing.

"Just help me up," she demanded stubbornly. "I'm fine." Carol was actually embarrassed with her reaction. She was stronger than that now. "We're going to go back in there, I'm going to find a picture of Sophia to take with me, I'm going to say goodbye to the woman who used to live here, then we're going to loot the shit out of this house that means nothing to me anymore and we move on." The last part was a lie. The house would always affect her, as long as it stood, but it felt good to pretend things were different.

Daryl knew not to argue with her so he helped her to her feet and followed her as she marched back inside. She headed straight for her favorite picture of Sophia, hanging on the wall in the hallway. It was her last school photo. Usually they were just generic, poor quality photos that you buy because you're supposed to. But the photographer had got lucky with this last one and somehow captured all the beauty and innocence of a carefree child in that split second shot. Carol looked at the picture in her hands and she smiled. Sophia was somewhere safe and happy in heaven and the smile on her face was just like in the photo.

"She's beautiful," Daryl whispered from behind her.

"She was," Carol replied, needing to correct him. She kissed the photo, feeling the cool glass on her lips and then stuck it in her backpack. Before she could take another step she heard a noise. They both knew exactly what it was.

Daryl ran for the door to look out and she followed. "Too many to fight," he said, as she looked out to see a small herd moving towards the house.

"No, I can't," she spat, terror and panic seizing her. "I can't be trapped in here, no." She made a move for the door but Daryl's arms circled her. "Daryl, let me go, please," she yelled, struggling against him. Her yells attracted the attention of the herd and they moved faster.

"We gotta board up the door, we gotta do it now," he said calmly.

She knew he was right, there was no where to go. They were trapped. Her survival instincts kicked in and she pushed it all away long enough to help Daryl barricade the door, just as the thumping and snarling reached the other side. They were safe. Inside. Trapped. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to run. "I can't be here. I can't be trapped here. Not again, never again," Carol said, sinking to her knees. Her entire body felt hot as the anxiety set in and once again she started gasping for breath. You're stronger than this, a voice screamed in her mind, but she just couldn't stop the panic.

Daryl grabbed her and lifted her to her feet. "Take me to your spot." He held her shoulders and Carol looked at him. "We all have one." We. Abuse victims. He was one too. He understood. "Take me there. You'll feel safe there, just like you used to."

Carol nodded slowly and took his hand. His grip was strong and warm and in his eyes she saw empathy. She knew in that moment she couldn't have done this alone. He was there for a reason. He was there because she needed him. And she would survive because he was there.


	3. Chapter 3

"The laundry room, so ridiculously cliche for a stay at home mom, right?" Carol said as she led Daryl inside and shut the door behind them. "But it was a place I could go that Ed would leave me alone because he thought I was working." She instantly felt calmer once they were shut inside. If they were going to be stuck in the house for a bit, this was the best place for her to be.

"Ain't ridiculous," Daryl said, hopping up onto the dryer. "It's smart, makes sense."

Carol looked around the room. Her little sanctuary. It had been so long since she'd been in that room, but it still had the same effect on her. The best way to describe it was soothing. Just being there helped her breathe easier, slowed her pounding heart and allowed her to feel relaxed.

She stood on her toes and reached for a candle she had on the top shelf. The BBQ lighter was still there, right beside it. Carol set the candle on the closed lid of the washer and lit it. "Lavender," she explained. "It has a calming effect." The little room was soon filled with the light scent from the candle and Carol took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them she saw Daryl watching her. He quickly looked away.

Carol remembered something and reached behind the box of soap on the shelf. "Got something else that was always comforting," she said with a little smile as she produced three Hershey bars. Her mouth was watering just holding the candy bars in her hand. She threw one in the backpack and handed one to Daryl, then tore into the third one. "So where was your spot?" she asked before popping a square in her mouth. Carol groaned as the sweet, creamy chocolate started to melt in her mouth.

"Under my bed," Daryl replied as he shoved a quarter of the bar in his mouth. "Jesus," he muttered. There comes a point when you give up on ever having certain foods again. "I had comics and a flashlight. I would hide under there and read for hours. Same comics over and over. Used to wish I was Archie and my toughest decision in life was whether to date Betty or Veronica."

Carol smiled. It was different for him - he was just a boy. But in a way it was still the same. Neither one of them should have been hit by someone who was supposed to love them. They shouldn't have had to live in fear for their life.

Carol risked a peek out the window. She heard Daryl jump down and come up behind her. The walkers had already started to move down the street. "Hmm, might not have to stay too long," he said quietly. He was close enough that she could smell the chocolate on his breath.

Carol touched the blinds. "I used to look out this window and imagine my prince would come save me and Sophia." It sounded so stupid, but her fantasies were an escape mechanism and she knew Daryl would understand.

After a moment of silence he spoke, "Ain't no fairytale world out there. And I ain't no prince. I couldn't save Sophia, but I'll do whatever I can - to save you." Carol froze and held her breath. His words gave her goosebumps all over her body. His words may not have been eloquent or flowery but they were absolutely beautiful to her.

She turned slowly and looked at him. "Thank you." Carol thought back to the moment in the city when she woke up and realized he had taken care of the mother and children walkers to spare her the pain. She knew in that moment how special Daryl was. The truth was, she knew long before that, but it was that act, done specifically for her, that made her realize how much she meant to him. His eyes were lingering on her lips and the chills intensified. "Are you going to kiss me?" she whispered.

Daryl looked like a deer in the headlights and started to back away. She caught his wrist. "No, please, I want you to." She tilted her chin up and closed her eyes, waiting - anticipating. It was like living out one of her fantasies. Whether he believed it or not he was a prince to her. Even though he hadn't touched her yet Carol could feel him moving closer. The energy between them was charged and she could feel his every move.

The first physical contact was his hand on her hip, drawing her closer. Daryl was nervous, she could feel that too. But it made the moment even sexier. Their bodies touched first and then finally she felt his lips on hers. The coarse hairs on his face tickled her as she pressed into his kiss. Warm waves of happiness floated through her body, making her feel light.

The kiss was short and sweet, but it was a start - new territory they had lots of time to explore over this journey. "I didn't know if you would, uh, if you would want to do that here," Daryl said, still looking unsure as he released her and stepped back a bit.

"It's perfect," Carol replied. "Once we leave here - I will have something, one thing, good to remember about this place." From now on their first kiss would be connected with her old home. There was so much bad, but this one good thing outweighed it all.

"What else do you need?" Daryl asked. "From this place? For closure."

When they first got there Carol had no idea. But she knew by that point what she needed and she was ready. "I need to face it - without fear, without regret - without contempt." Carol peeked out the window again and saw the walkers were way off in the distance. "Come on, I'm ready now."

Carol blew out the candle then walked out of her sanctuary and this time she wasn't seized with panic, she felt a sense of relief and a lightness in her soul. This place did not define her. It held her past, but her past made her even stronger. Daryl followed her quietly as she moved from room to room. There were tons of things they could have taken but Carol left most things just like they had found them. Chances were the place would get looted and destroyed at some point. There had to be survivors around. But she no longer needed what the house contained so they could have it.

There was one thing she wanted though. Two actually. "Wait right here," she said to Daryl. She ran to Sophia's room and grabbed a stack off the bookshelf. Then she went to the kitchen, opened the cupboard and took out two keys.

Carol returned to where Daryl was waiting. She unzipped his backpack and showed him what she was putting in there. "Betty. He should always pick Betty." Daryl chuckled as she zipped in the small stack of comics. "And one more present for you," she handed him the two keys.

"One is to the shed out back and the other will start up our new ride." Daryl took the keys, waiting for explanation. "Ed almost cried when we left his baby behind. Just got it 2 months before we had to go." Carol walked to the back door and scanned for walkers. "It will be much easier to get through the roadblocks, or even make our way through the woods - on a rugged camo Yamaha ATV."


	4. Chapter 4

_Authors Note: Just a quick note to say THANK YOU so much for all the reviews on The Lucky Ones. You all made me smile so much and I can't even express how helpful that was to me. I'm gonna be honest, I actually considered deleting my account last night and hanging up my keyboard. But I thought about all of you who take the time to let me know that you're enjoying the stories I write and just the number of people who take a moment to sit down and read my fics and I decided to keep trying - for you. I'm very close to being completely done with this fandom, but I feel like I owe it to you all to at least finish what I've started. So I will do that. Thank you all for inspiring me in a time of need. I feel blessed._

"You have any idea how far it is from here?" Daryl asked. They were headed for the quarry where the group stayed for a short time - the place where Ed died. Daryl unhooked one of the gas cans they had strapped on the back of the 4 wheeler and started to fill the tank. They had one full can of gas that Ed had left in the shed and a second can they had found while looting a garage along the way. It would be plenty of gas to get them to the quarry, but they would need to find more if they were gonna make it back to the farm on the ATV as well.

"Shouldn't be too much further," Carol said before taking a drink of water. "For as little as I got out of the house I was always pretty good with directions," she commented. She had lived a life of being the woman at home and truly didn't get to go too many places so when she did she always paid very close attention to detail. If she went somewhere once she could easily get back there. "It's a bit hard to tell though, given we're taking a bit of an indirect route." Instead of sticking to the roads they had been travelling more along side, under the cover of the trees when possible. It was a little slower, but gave them a bit more camouflage. They had learned over the years that the people left out there could be the greatest threats.

"You, uh… you thought about what you need from this place?" Daryl asked, looking at her from behind wisps of his long hair.

"I'm not really sure…" Carol replied. "I think it's the memory that it's where my life changed dramatically," she spoke, working through some thoughts outloud. "I arrived there under the control of a man, but left with a freedom that I didn't know what to do with at the time." Daryl hooked up the gas can once again and leaned against the seat, listening. "The me - who I am now - I see things so differently. A man like Ed was never going to survive this world. He was lazy and narcissistic, mean and controlling. He wasn't going to last long. But what he did to me - even though I didn't see it then, was prepare me to live in this world. His abuse made me strong, made me a survivor - like you."

Daryl looked up when she said that. They both knew their abuse was what had connected them very early on - on a level that most people can only dream of sharing. "I think you woulda been strong no matter what you were faced with," Daryl replied. He was trying to tell her that she didn't need to be abused to be strong, that it was something she innately had.

"Maybe," she nodded. "But I really didn't see myself that way until I rose above it, ya know?" Daryl bobbed his head in understanding. Carol loved that she didn't have to articulate everything with him. They could speak half sentences and unfinished thoughts and the other picked up on it. It made things so easy.

She took her spot on the ATV, indicating that she was ready to get going and Daryl climbed on in front of her. Carol really wanted to get there and hopefully even leave before dark. She had no idea where they were going to find shelter for the night.

They actually arrived on the far side of the little lake. The part of the quarry they'd inhabited was around the other side. Daryl slowed and came to a stop. "You wanna leave it here and walk the rest of the way? Keep it under cover?" Carol gave him a nod and he killed the engine. It made sense, just in case there happened to be people around. They climbed off and Daryl took the key out and tucked it into his pocket.

As they trudged around the lake, with the setting sun beating down on them Carol started to have flashes of a scene that felt like a million years ago. She thought about the time she was doing the laundry with Jacqui, Lori, Andrea and Amy. They were talking and laughing - having a rare moment of levity - until Ed interrupted. Carol had surprised them all by agreeing with Andrea that she missed her vibrator and when the ladies all burst out giggling it pissed off Ed. "Did you ever know that Shane beat the crap out of Ed?" She asked Daryl.

Daryl looked at her. "I kinda remember seeing his face all messed up, but I didn't know what happened."

Carol nodded. "Ed was hurting me, he hit me -" She could still feel the sting on her cheek. "Shane lost his mind. He could have killed him…" Her voice trailed off. In a way, maybe he had. If Shane hadn't beat him up maybe Ed wouldn't have been in the tent when the herd came through. Maybe. There were always lots of maybes. "You know, looking back now - Shane was already one step ahead of us. He was reckless and stupid, but he did things I would do now - to protect the people I love."

"I don't know…" Daryl started.

"He sacrificed Otis, you knew that right?" Carol said. "I'm sure he did. But he had to get those medical supplies back to save Carl's life."

"You really think he did that?" Daryl asked.

"We'll never know for sure," Carol shrugged. "But - yeah, I really think he did." Carol thought about the times she'd done the same. She killed Karen and David to save the group. She'd killed Lizzie to protect Judith, Tyreese, herself and even to protect the troubled girl from herself. She had blown up Terminus and killed countless people - all to save her family. If only Shane could have kept his feelings for Lori in check there was a good chance he'd still be alive today and there was a damn good chance he would understand and support everything she'd done.

"You ain't like him," Daryl said. "He was selfish. You're anything but." And perhaps that was the difference - she truly hoped it was, and she deeply appreciated that Daryl saw that in her.

As they reached the peak of the slope they were climbing Daryl quickly ducked and pulled her down with him. "Looks like someone else has moved in," he whispered. He peeked his head up and then ducked back down. "If we sneak round the other side we can get close to their camp, see if they're here and decide what to do." Carol gave him a nod and followed his lead. They were completely hidden by long tall grass as they peeked out into the clearing. There was a truck and a camper. It looked like people had been around recently and might even still be there.

"How you wanna do this?" Carol whispered, pulling out her gun. Daryl got his crossbow ready. He picked up a rock off the ground and tossed it. It hit the trailer with a thunk. They waited and no one appeared. He picked up another rock and tried again. Still nothing. They crept slowly towards the trailer.

Daryl banged on the door. "Anyone here?" he yelled. When there was no answer he turned the handle. Before they stepped inside she took a quick look around. Everything looked different than it had when they left, but there was something in the air - a feeling - that was all too familiar. Before she was fully inside she felt Daryl's arm come up to stop her protectively.

Before she had a chance to ask what was going on there was a voice. "Stop. Right there. I'll kill you. I'll kill you both." She couldn't resist moving up one more step because she knew she would be looking at a child. It was a boy, he looked to be about 10. His voice was just as shaky as his hand, holding a revolver, similar to the one she had just put back in the holster at her hip. "Back up," he demanded. Carol could tell he was trying to be brave but he was completely terrified.

"We're not going to hurt you," she said gently.

"Back up," he said again, waving the gun wildly.

"Okay, okay," Daryl said, as they both back out of the trailer followed by the young boy.

"My parents… they'll be back any minute…" Carol looked at the kid and her heart was breaking. He was so young and so scared - completely not prepared for what was happening. It was no surprise when Daryl lunged and knocked the gun out of his hands easily.

Everything happened quickly after that. Daryl scrambled to grab the gun and the boy turned and ran, heading for the woods. "Stop, please," she called after him. There were flashes of Sophia running away going through her mind. "Please, we won't hurt you," Carol yelled.

Daryl handed her the gun and started to run. "You stay, in case he really does have family," Daryl called back over his shoulder. "I'll get him. Can't lose another…" She could barely make out the last part, but knowing Daryl - she easily figured it out. He blamed himself for not finding Sophia. He blamed himself for not saving Beth. And now - once again, there was a child in danger and Daryl was compelled to save him.

Carol watched him run. She should have been terrified - What if Daryl never came back? What if the parents returned and tried to kill her? - But she wasn't. For once in their lives the outcome was going to be good. It had to. Just this one time she needed a child to be okay. Fighting off tears she moved to the picnic table sitting out front of the trailer and she sat. There was nothing she could do - but wait.


	5. Chapter 5

Carol had been sitting at the table for a good 15 minutes when she saw movement at the edge of the woods. She jumped up, hoping it was Daryl and he'd found the boy. But it was a man and woman, had to be the kid's parents. The man was limping, badly, and the woman was doing her best to help him walk. They didn't even notice her until they were close.

"Oh God, please," the woman said when she spotted Carol. "Please… where is he? Please don't hurt him…" The man was hurt bad. Judging by the look on his face and the way he was sweating - something was broken.

"Here, let me help you," Carol said, quickly moving to the other side and helping her get the man to the picnic table to sit down. "He's not here," she said as they walked. "He got scared and ran into to woods." There were tears streaming down the woman's face and Carol was slammed with a moment of empathy. She knew. She understood the exact feeling. "It's okay," Carol grunted as they set the man down. He looked like he was going to pass out. "My, uh… my friend, Daryl, he went after him. He'll find him and bring him back - I promise." Carol shook off the way she'd stumbled over what to call Daryl. Of course 'friend' was the right word. They weren't no where near any other term.

"Why… why is all this happening at once? It was so stupid to leave him here alone… but we've done it before and it's been fine…" she sobbed. The man was aware enough to reach out and try to comfort her but he wasn't even able to speak.

"Hey," Carol said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. "Daryl will find him, I promise. But right now we need to take care of him. What happened?"

"We were running from two biters and he stepped in a hole and fell," she got out, brushing the man's hair lovingly off of his forehead. "Do you think it's broken?"

"I'm afraid it might be," Carol admitted. "Can you help me get him up on the table and we'll take a look?" When he was lying on the table on his back they carefully took off his boot and sock. "Yeah," Carol sighed. "I think we're going to need to splint this. I can't tell if it's broken for sure, but… it doesn't look good." The ankle was purple and extremely swollen. "I don't suppose you have anything for pain, do you?"

The woman nodded. "We have Tylenol. A big bottle of it." She ran inside and returned with the bottle and a cup with water.

"Good, give him a couple right now and we'll try to figure out how to splint this." Carol knew if she kept her busy there was less chance she would panic about the missing boy. "Okay, we're gonna need something sturdy to put on each side and cloth of some sort to tie it with." Carol focussed and with the woman's help they had a makeshift cast/splint made in less than 20 minutes. "How are you feeling?" Carol asked him.

"A lot better, thank you," he got out. "But my son… please…" There was panic in the man's eyes. Carol's own reaction was mixed. There was obvious compassion and empathy, but there was also a tiny part of her that knew if Ed had lived he never would have been that devastated when Sophia went missing. Daryl though, he'd reacted with so much passion, and she would never forget that.

"Oh God, look," the woman cried out. Carol turned as she took off. She felt relief wash over her as she watched Daryl and the boy emerging from the woods.

"He's okay," she informed the father. "He's safe."

"Mom," the boy came running. "Daryl let me shoot his crossbow. It was so awesome. We gotta find one for me." Carol watched the mother reunite with her son, tears of joy streaming down her face. She looked at Daryl and smiled. For once things worked out.

Carol helped his dad get into a sitting position and the boy came over to hug him too, still talking excitedly about the crossbow. Daryl wandered over. "He was up in a tree," he shrugged. "It was the only way I could talk him into coming down."

Carol leaned into him and gave him a coy look, "That badass crossbow to the rescue again, huh?"

"I don't know how to thank you," the woman said. "We haven't even been introduced. I'm Leah. My husband Tim. And our son - Austin."

"Carol," she replied. "And Daryl," she added, nodding in his direction.

"Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?" Leah asked. It was starting to get dark, probably a couple more hours of daylight at the most. Carol hadn't even thought about where they were going to stay. "We have a tent. Some extra sleeping bags," she offered. "I'm not sure if you're just passing through?"

"Yeah, just passing through," Carol nodded, looking over at Daryl. It made sense for them to stay the night and travel again in the morning. But the real reason she was looking at Daryl was because she hoped he was on board with what she was about to offer. "Listen, we would be very appreciative for the use of your tent tonight. We're on a bit of a journey, but on our way home we're gonna pass right back through this area… We have a safe place to stay… in the city…" She looked at Daryl again to gauge his reaction and he nodded. "It's an old hospital. There are cops there. We have food and supplies. There are other kids…" Only Carl and Judith as far as she knew, but it was still the truth. "By the time we come back through here Tim might be healed enough to travel…"

They all looked unsure, but Carol could see a spark of something in their eyes. When you're alone for a long time the thought of being around people again can be very exciting. "That's a very kind offer," the woman started.

"And we will seriously consider it and let you know upon your return," Tim interrupted. Carol quickly sensed that Tim was the one who didn't trust people and Leah had been ready to turn them down on his behalf. But something had changed his mind and Carol was glad. She could tell they were a loving family and they didn't pose any danger.

The next hour consisted of setting up a tent and Daryl going to get the ATV from it's hiding spot. He also brought back a surprise. He had crafted makeshift crutches for Tim to use. Carol was so proud of him and she let him know when they were alone in the tent later that night. "You amaze me, just wanted you to know that," she said softly, looking into his eyes.

He blushed and changed the subject, but she knew he appreciated the compliment. "With everything that happened - we didn't really have a chance to - uh - well, to get whatever it was you needed from this place."

"No, we did," Carol started. "I came back here a stronger person. We helped that family today. And you," she reached out and touched his cheek. "You saved that boy. Rescued him and brought him back to his family." Daryl froze, but didn't shy away from her touch. "We lost a lot of people right here. There was a lot of sadness. But not today. Today something good happened. What more could I ask for?"

Carol had no idea what she needed from all the places they would be visiting until it happened. Reuniting that boy with his parents was something that rarely happens anymore in the world they lived in. It was a reminder that even in a place of sadness and loss that good things could still happen.

With her hand still on his face and their eyes locked Carol felt herself start to tremble. When her fingers started to shake Daryl covered her hand with his. He really was her hero everyday - even when she didn't need one, just knowing he was there made everything feel right.

Carol leaned forward and found his lips. Everything felt so natural. He kissed her back right away and Carol felt a warmth spread through her body. They started off slow and conservative, very sweet and tender like their first kiss, but this time she decided she wanted more. Carol broke this kiss and looked at him again before moving back in with parted lips for a different kind of kiss. Daryl was ready and their tongues met. Her body felt like it was on fire as he pulled her closer. They kissed until they were both breathless and Carol finally pulled away for air, her heart hammering in her chest. She knew all she had to do was initiate and she could have him - every part of him. But it just wasn't right for them. They both needed things to more slow. It had taken them a long time to get where they were. It had taken a long time for Daryl to even be comfortable with her touching him, or for him to touch her.

No, it wasn't time to go any further. "We should sleep," Carol said, giving him a little smile. She understood the look of relief on his face because she felt the same. They would get there eventually. There was no hurry. It might happen somewhere along this journey they were on - or it might not, but when it did they would both be ready.

Carol got herself zipped into her sleeping bag and lay her head on pillow. They only had one pillow and Daryl had given it to her. "Hey," she said, turning towards him for a moment. "Share with me." She scooted over a bit more to give him lots of pillow. He hesitated for a few moments and then finally Carol felt him wiggle closer and join her on the pillow. She smiled and closed her eyes. Her smile grew even wider when she felt his hand brush her hip, pull away and then finally touch her again. Daryl was snuggling - in his way - and it was just right. The last tent she'd been in at this spot was with Ed and Sophia - and angel and the devil. But this time she felt safe and she - if only for a moment - was very happy.


	6. Chapter 6

When Carol woke up the next morning to the annoying sound of birds chirping she was alone. She sat up, rubbed her eyes and stretched, then started to climb out of the tent, wondering where Daryl was. The second she poked her head outside she realized exactly what Daryl was up to.

"Nice shot kid," she heard him exclaim after a little thunk sound. Carol smiled as she watched Daryl instructing the boy holding his crossbow. He waved when he saw her and she walked over to join them. Austin was enamored with the crossbow. She was sure the only other person she'd seen look at a weapon that way was the man who owned it. "Leah said to come have breakfast when you're up, then we should probably…"

Carol nodded and the three of them joined Leah and Tim for a bite to eat. "It's not much," Leah apologized. "Supplies are getting low, but we'll get some game soon," she added with a smile. Carol liked the woman's confidence. They made polite conversation while they ate stale cereal and drank some sort of wild berry tea. The tea was delicious and the cereal wasn't too bad either - it was food and she was hungry.

"We'll go pack up that tent and we should get on our way," Carol said, once they had all finished eating.

"Oh don't worry about that," Leah said. "Austin and I can take care of it… Not like we'll be going anywhere right now," she smiled and nodded towards Tim who smiled back and shrugged. Carol could tell they really loved each other and they were happy. Even living in the world they lived in… they were happy and making the best of it.

"Thank you very much for everything," Carol replied.

"You really have to go already?" Austin asked, looking sadly at Daryl.

"We do Kid," Daryl replied. "But before we go… as long as your folks agree… I have a gift for you." He looked at Leah and Tim and held up the crossbow. Carol watched, completely shocked. She never thought she would see the day when Daryl parted with his baby.

Austin was absolutely losing his mind with excitement. There was no way his parents were going to say no - it would break his heart. Carol watched Daryl's face and knew he was feeling pretty good about making the boy so happy. He had such a soft spot for kids. It hit her hard when she realized that the chances of him having a child of his own were pretty small. It's not like it couldn't happen. The elements were all there. But pregnancies were dangerous - her mind flashed to Lori.

And if it was her that Daryl ended up with… Carol shook her head, why was she thinking that way? They had kissed a couple times and that's all. Luckily she was saved from the path she was travelling down in her mind when Daryl spoke. "You ready?" Carol nodded and with a wave and one last goodbye they headed to gather their things.

"You gave away your crossbow?" She asked quietly, giving him an amused look as they walked.

"I only had a couple bolts left," Daryl replied with a shrug. "Ain't no good to me unless I find more. 'Sides, I had three more of them back at the prison with about 30 bolts… maybe they're still there." Carol couldn't help but laugh. It was a totally sweet and adorable gesture but the fact he had a backup plan too made it even cuter. "Got that spare gun?" He asked.

Carol rooted through the backpack and handed him the weapon. She'd seen him with a rifle, but she honestly couldn't remember ever seeing Daryl carry a handgun. It was odd. But they were going to get to the prison eventually and he would have his trusty crossbow back - maybe even a spare if they had a way to carry extra supplies by that point.

They gathered everything up and Carol went to climb on the 4 wheeler. "Hey, you wanna drive today?" Daryl asked her.

"Oh, I uh…I don't know how…" she replied, feeling slightly shocked. There was no way Ed would have ever offered for her to drive anything. It was times like these that she had to remind herself that even the simple everyday things in life were different now. She wasn't with a chauvinistic asshole who didn't believe in her.

"Good thing I do, huh?" Daryl teased. She smiled. She really did want to drive it. Daryl gave her key and she started it up. He gave her a quick lesson and then climbed on behind her. It was pretty simple and Carol felt comfortable right away as they headed off. Daryl could have held on to the bars on the back, but instead he had his arms wrapped around her and was talking in her ear as they drove. "It ain't that far to the farm, but if you don't pick up the pace we ain't gonna make it in the daylight."

Carol hadn't even realized how slow she was actually driving because she was just enjoying the feel of being in control of something so powerful. Without warning she sped up, throwing Daryl off balance. He tightened his grip on her until he regained balance and she heard him chuckling in her ear which made her smile.

Daryl gave her directions as they drove and she enjoyed the wind in her face as they flew along. There were a couple small hiccups along the way. They had to pull over once and put down a small group of walkers who she couldn't simply maneuver around. They also made a wrong turn, which she didn't plan on ever letting Daryl forget about.

Carol was having a really great day, but the second they saw the remnants of the farm it all came crashing down. Everytime she'd imagined going back there, even though she knew there was a fire and everything would be destroyed, she still imagined it like it had been. The barns, the big farmhouse, the RV still parked where it had been… But that's not what was before them - it was long grass and the burned rubble of the house and barns.

Carol knew Daryl was watching her. He wasn't looking around like she was, he was focused on her and how she was holding up. "You okay?" He finally asked, after a long moment of complete silence.

"I'm not sure," Carol admitted. She really wasn't sure how she felt yet because she hadn't prepared herself properly for what she was seeing. It was so different. Even if she had of tried to prepare herself she never would have imagined it looking like this anyway. "I'm glad Maggie and Beth…" She glanced at him when she said the second name. "I'm glad they never had to see this." Daryl hadn't really talked much about Beth, but Carol knew he still carried the weight of her loss with him because he blamed himself. He seemed okay with the casual mention of her name though, which Carol took as a good sign.

Carol headed towards the rubble of the house. There was something she wanted to look for to take back to Maggie. "Careful," Daryl cautioned as they started to crawl through the mess. "What are you looking for?"

"In the living room there were framed pictures on the wall. I thought maybe Maggie would like a photo of her dad… Beth… ya know? I'm sure they are probably all burnt up, but if there's a chance..." Carol knew how good it felt for her to have a photo of Sophia. She would never forget what her baby girl looked like, but it was just this special little snapshot in time that was tangible and something not many people still had.

They spent a good hour digging before Daryl finally found some photos. "Here," he called out. Carol joined him and picked up a charcoal dusted frame. She wiped it off and saw it was a picture of Hershel and Maggie's mom. Carol smiled and quickly took the photo out of the damaged frame and tucked it into her backpack. Daryl was still digging and he handed her another one. Carol wiped off the glass and saw it was probably one of the most recent family photos they would have had. Even Beth's boyfriend Jimmy was part of the photo.

"This is perfect," Carol comment, smiling at the photo and excited to take it back for Maggie. Daryl didn't respond. He had found something and was looking at it. Carol glanced over his shoulder and saw he was starting at a beautiful photo of Beth. "Keep it if you want," she said gently.

"Nah," Daryl said, setting the frame back on the floor.

Carol didn't understand. "Why? It's okay, really." Daryl shook his head. "Talk to me," she said, reaching for his soot covered hand.

"I don't know how to say it without sounding like an ass," he muttered.

"It's just me," she said softly.

Daryl sighed. "It's not so much about her - about Beth," he said, struggling with his words. "She was family 'course, and I feel like shit for her getting taken. I cared about her, I did…" his voice trailed off as he tried to explain himself. "But it was more the way it all happened than who it happened to…" He finally looked up and met her eye. "I'm not making any sense."

"Keep trying," Carol encouraged him. She was pretty sure she understood, but she needed a little more.

"I didn't know Sophia… and I didn't really know Beth either… but they were kids and I should have kept them safe," he said, looking tortured. "We got Beth back and it felt… good - for a second," he sucked in a breath. "For just a split second the guilt was gone. I couldn't find Sophia, but we did it - we found Beth… and you…" he added. He didn't need to say that - she knew how he felt about her. "But 'fore we knew it she was gone. I had her blood on my face and she was gone. So close… ya know?"

This was the first he'd really talked about Beth and Carol was glad he was sharing but she didn't want to push, so she simply nodded. "Anyway," he shook his head. "It's not about her so much, 'cuz, I didn't know _her_ , but it was the situation." Daryl was really struggling. "I was getting to know her," he added. "She was a sweet girl. And a lot tougher than I ever expected," he smiled a bit. "I'm rambling. I don't know how to explain it."

Carol was pretty sure she understood. "I get it," she said, giving him a quick hug. It was the same as T-Dog for her. He saved her life and sacrificed himself for her. He would always hold a special spot in her memory, but given the chance she wasn't going to carry a photo of him around in her pocket. He didn't hold that kind of place in her heart. And that was okay.

They exited the rubble and stood quietly. Carol's eyes were drawn to the spot where the barn used to stand. The barn that had held the monster that used to be her daughter. She felt chills run down her spine and anger swirl in her belly - just the slightest bit of rage, but it was there. She finally knew exactly what she needed. There was something she had to get off her chest. There was a secret that only she knew. It was time to share that secret in hopes she could finally let it go.

"Daryl," she whispered, turning to face him. "There's something I need to tell you…" She took a shaky breath. "Hershel knew." Daryl narrowed his eyes. "All that time we were out there searching for Sophia - he knew… He knew she was already in that barn."


End file.
